Tolerance
by Tollian
Summary: A few fists flying, some black eyes, but totally worth it. Zim and Dib, both kicked out of their houses, talk in the park about exactly WHY they tolerate their companions.


**Author's Notes**: This idea hit me like a lace in the face when I was doing laundry . . . don't ask me why. Plot bunnies are mysterious that way . . . Anyway, not much to say here. Not a whole lot of plot. This would be AU since Tak is staying in Zim's base. Oh, and there's _slight _Tak/Zim near the end if you squint.

**Disclaimer**: See the characters? See the places? They're not mine--They belong to Jhonen Vasquez. The terrible Nezpien Grapple-Snorker is mine, but you could have him if you wanted. He might eat you though.

Tolerance

Dib closed his eyes and leaned his head back, smiling as the autumn breeze battered playfully at his hair. He could hear the leaves in the trees above him rustling happily and in his mind he imagined their bright orange and yellow colors. Fall was by far his favorite season; the weather got cooler, the colors changed, and the paranormal was more respected at this time of year. People actually didn't _yell_ at him for talking about his studies in the early fall; after all, who _wasn't_ talking about ghosts, vampires, and aliens?

In the distance, Dib could hear laughing and cars, but nothing close enough to bother him. He sighed happily. No people to taunt or arrest him. Usually, Hurt Park wasn't the place where he hung out (in the daytime, anyway. He had come here a few times after midnight to see if he could track down the Deranged Psycho Kitty. He _knew_ it was hiding in the trees somewhere . . .). But it was late and skool wasn't in session, most of the stores were closing, and his room was off limits.

Well, not so much 'off limits' as much as 'blocked off.' By his sister. His very _angry_ sister.

Dib shifted the cold compress on his face to get more of the cold onto his eye where Gaz had punched him earlier. He sighed. At least the swelling was starting to go down.

One hand carefully on the cold compress, Dib lay down lengthwise on the bench and shifted until he was comfortable; he was going to be here for a while. Carefully keeping the compress balanced on his face, he took out a crinkled newspaper. The title read _ParaNews_. He scanned the front page with such headlines like _Man finds huge python in toilet!_, _Giant man eating eagle actually existed!_, _Beware of the biscuits!_, and _Boy, 13 'beaten up by ghost'!_

Dib smiled. They ran his story!

His reverie was disturbed by a pair of feet crunching along the gravel path. Dib lowered the newspaper to hide his face, hoping whoever it was would go away: he wanted to read his paper. Besides, he didn't particularly feel like getting ridiculed at the moment.

"Hey, you! Filthy paper-reading beast!"

Dib's eyes widened from behind the paper. Oh no. Not him. _Anyone_ but him! He _really_ didn't feel like dealing with stupid aliens right now. He still ached from Gaz's beating.

"Move your smelly feet for ZiiIIIIMM!"

Biting his tongue to keep himself from moaning, Dib slowly bent his knees and dragged his feet closer to himself to make room on the bench. He heard the alien plop himself down on the wooden seat. Silently, Dib clutched his newspaper tightly in his hand and hoped Zim would just go away.

"What did you say your name was, _disgusting hyuman_?"

"Uh . . ."

"That's right. Of course Zim knew your filthy name! Zim knows everything! Because I'm awesome."

Not even daring to breath, Dib listened in disturbed fascination as Zim rambled about his own 'amazing-ness' and 'stupendous smarts' and maybe something about nuclear llamas (he was speaking too fast for Dib to be sure) without seeming to stop for breath.

"Do you talk like this to _all_ strangers, Zim?" Dib asked, moving the cold compress on his eye a bit before remembering he was supposed to be ignoring Zim.

"Of course. All you lowly meat-humans listen to ZIM!"

_If only_, Dib thought. _Then they might __**notice **__what you're actually saying!_

Dib refrained from saying anything else and Zim continued to talk about whatever came into his head. Apparently, Irken's didn't use transitions. Eventually, Dib started to fall asleep. Couldn't Zim leave already? He glanced at his watch through one eye.

"And Gir broke the ceiling, raining popcorn down on ME, ZIM! And I don't care _what_ she says, I'm a _genius_! Just because I ruined her stupid little experiment! She's jealous you know." Zim sounded smug. "Tak just couldn't stand—"

"Tak?" Dib bent the paper so he could see Zim over the top. He frowned at the alien over his knees. "What does she—Woah! What happened to your eye?" Dib found himself smiling. "Did Tak do that?"

Zim turned, glaring through one eye; the other was dark purple and completely swollen shut. The rest of his face was likewise beaten. Then his eye widened and he pointed at Dib dramatically. "_YOUUUU!!!_"

Dib's expression grew into a deadpan one. "Brilliant observation, Zim." He sat up, careful to avoid the alien's pointed finger, folded his newspaper and set it on his lap. "Look, as much as I'd love to make your other eye black, I don't really feel like fighting you today. So if you could, I don't know, go away or something, that'd be great."

The alien didn't move for a moment, and then his outraged expression turned into one of confusion as he looked Dib over. He lowered his hand. "What happened to _you_ Dib-stink?" A smirk crossed his face. "You look like you met a terrible Nezpien Grapple-Snorker."

"Worse." Well, Dib didn't know that for sure (what _was_ a Nezpien Grapple-Snorker anyway?), but it was a safe bet to say Gaz was worse than anything the _universe_ could throw at him.

Zim's eye widened again. "Worse than the terrible Nezpien Grapple-Snorker? How can that _beeeeee_?"

"My sister," the human said simply.

Zim let out a soft "Ohhhh." of understanding. "The scary sister. Not that I find her scary! YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!" After a moment of silence, he lowered his hand and asked "What did you do to invoke her scary wrath of . . . of . . . anger?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Dib answered, "I went around a corner too fast, bumped into her, and accidently stepped on her toes." He flinched as he remembered her fists trembling with rage right before he saw them flying towards his eye. "Needless to say, she wasn't too happy."

"Ah."

The two beaten misfits sat on the bench in awkward silence for a while. Dib switched the hand that held the cold compress to his eye as he sneaked glances at the alien beside him. He searched for something to say. "You should put some frozen meat on that or something," he finally settled on. "It would help stop the swelling and . . ." He drifted off as Zim gave him an acerbic look. "Oh, right," Dib finished lamely. "So! Um, you never answered by question: did Tak do that?"

Zim looked over and flashed his zipper smile. "Of course not! This was from a great _laser_ battle with the . . . um . . ." His smiled disappeared into a pout and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Yeah," he mumbled.

"What did you do? I thought she wasn't trying to kill you anymore."

"Oh, she's not. I just, uh, well . . ." Zim looked thoughtful for a second. "What _did_ I do?"

_Tak's eye twitched as the blue liquid gently spread into an ever-widening circle on the floor. She growled as she imagined taking one of the many glass shards that used to be a test tube and sticking it in Zim's eye._

"_Oh. Oops. That wasn't important, right?"_

"_**Important**__? Zim, I've been working on this for __**THREE MONTHS**__!" she screamed. "It took me two weeks just to get the mixture for the nightmare juice right and another five days to prepare an effective distribution system! __**You**__ manage to destroy __**everything**__ within two minutes! It was going to be ready __**today**__!"_

" _. . . So that wasn't important, right?"_

_Two minutes later a very beaten up Zim was thrown out the door, covered in barbeque sauce and screaming._

"Mm, nope! Don't remember what I did! Whatever it was, I was _completely_ in the right! Tak just can't handle my amazing brain-meats."

Dib looked at the alien skeptically but decided not to push further. "So you two _aren't_ getting along? Isn't she staying at your base and everything? Why don't you kick her out?"

Zim twiddled his thumbs, frowning down at his hands.

"Doesn't she have her own base?" the human continued.

"Oh yes!" the alien confirmed quickly, gladly changing the subject. "A very big mansion-y thing." He waved with his hands to demonstrate the large building. "It's purple and black and doesn't look as _normal_ as my base. It doesn't even have gnomes in the front. It has a big sign saying 'Deelicious Mansion! Home of the Weeners.'"

Dib made a mental note to check that out later and to talk with Zim more often: he hadn't been able to get any information like this out of Tak! "So if you kicked her out, it's not like she'd be homeless. Why not tell her to get out of your base?" _That way I can sneak in easier,_ he thought to himself. His past few attempts had been met with lasers, Mimi, and a grinning female Irken.

Turning to look at Dib, Zim looked surprised. "Why would I want that?"

"But, she hurt you!"

"So did your scary sister," Zim pointed out, one long claw pointing towards Dib's own black eye. "You don't kick her out of the house."

"I can't: it'd be up to Dad and I think she has to be 18 before she can be legally kicked out. Besides, she'd kill me. Literally."

"Then fight back!" The alien jumped onto his feet and pointed dramatically (as usual) at the sky. "Gather your meager, worthless courage and fight! Make her sorry for ALL the PAIN you've had to endure! Don't tolerate it any mooooooore!" Jabbing his fists into the air, Zim's voice rose to an inspiring crescendo. "She is, after all, your tiny, little sister! And a female! You can take her on! Fight! Win! Victory for the glory of Irk! . . . Or, the Dib or whatever."

Dib looked at Zim as if he'd gone crazy(er than before). " . . . Are you _trying_ to get me killed?" Dib closed his eyes and held up his hand. "No, wait, don't answer that."

But it was too late. A malicious grin spread across his green face. "Of course! Zim enjoys seeing you in pain!"

The human rolled his eyes. "Right." No surprise there.

After no further response was elicited from the human, Zim let his face relax and put his hands on his hips. "I don't know," he finally said.

Looking tired, Dib glanced up. "Huh?"

"Your earlier question, why I don't throw out Tak: I don't know."

"Couldn't you have just said that before?"

Zim shrugged. "It took some thinking from my _incredible_ brain."

"So you don't know why you tolerate her?"

The Irken looked down with sincere curiosity. "Why do you tolerate your sister?"

"Because I . . . well . . ." Dib put both hands on his lap, holding the cold compress in his fists. "I love her, I guess. She is my sister, after all. It's my job to protect and tolerate her. Not that you _aliens_ would understand."

"Yep!" Zim readily agreed. "We Irkens have no need for your weak emotions like '_love_.' I tolerate Tak because she is useful! Nothing more!"

"You said you didn't know!"

"I lied."

"MMMMAAAAASTUUUUUUR!"

A green blur came running up the path, ran into a tree, giggled, smeared the bark with some yellow gooey substance, and continued up the path to the bench. The 'dog' tripped and fell face down in the dirt in front of the human and alien. Unfazed, Gir picked himself up and snapped smartly to attention.

"Sir," Gir said in his 'duty' voice. "I'm here to relay a message from Tak: She says you may reenter the house under the condition that you give her complete access to the Brain Transfer Machine."

"But _I'm_ using the Brain Transfer Machine!" whined Zim. "I need it for my army of intelligent monster earth worms!"

_Monster earth worms? So __**that's**__ what you're up to. _ Dib made another mental note. Yes, he _really_ must talk with Zim more often.

Gir seemed to shrug, then giggled, apparently back to his normal self. "She also said she LUVS YOUUU and that you two need to KISS and MAKE UP!!"

"What??" Zim looked horrified at this statement. Dib watched with interest as the Irken's cheeks turned a darker shade a green. "N-no she didn't! You lie!!"

"Yes she diiiiIIIID! An' she said you're beauuuuuutiful an' that you an' her should have little kids an' I can eat EM'! I LIKE TO EAT DEM KIDDIES! _KITTIEES_!"

Dib flinched at the volume and rubbed his ears, highly disturbed.

Zim's expression turned slightly nauseated. "You've been watching too many human soapy shows." He jumped off the bench and took out a leash from his PAK. Attaching it with some difficulty to the spinning robot he muttered, "Let's go home, Gir." He turned and looked at Dib as if he had just noticed the human sitting there. "You see nothIIING!" A smart turn on his heel later, Zim was marching away down the gravel path, dragging Gir along with him.

Glancing up at the darkening purple sky, Dib stood as well. As he walked towards his house, he decided it was worth tolerating Zim's rants for a while in return for such valuable information. Already his mind was working on an anti-worm system capable of covering the entire planet.

Gaz should be calm enough by now to unlock the doors, turn off the electric fence, and call back her demonic dolls. He could finish reading his paper in his room.

**A/N**: And now for interesting trivia! The headlines in Dib's newspapers are actual paranormal articals I found on the internet. No joke.  
Critique wanted, reviews needed, and all appreciated!


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